59 Comments
User's avatar
Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

I came specifically to see where you placed him as Tom in the The Talented Mr. Ripply and was not disappointed. So much emotion in his performance, and in your piece. Great job.

Expand full comment
Fantasma.'s avatar

I loved this so much… now do Ben Affleck 🙏

Expand full comment
brain worm's avatar

Haven’t even finish this yet but it’s so funny and deserves a million likes I can’t believe this is a year old and only has 70 likes

Expand full comment
The Stain's avatar

lol thank you I think it only just got picked up by the substack algorithm a bit. rest assured it has over 1k+ notes on tumblr lmao

Expand full comment
Victor's avatar

Just the title is hilarious, I haven’t read it yet

Expand full comment
Gerardo Noriega Rivero's avatar

I am a Matt Damon fan and a Patricia Highsmith fan, so I absolutely love his performance as Tom Ripley in Minghela's "The Talented...". I agree with you that it is a great work and, as a gay man, I appreciate his getting into the role with such great sensitivity. I can't help but compare it to the new film with Andrew Scott, which is not bad at all, but leaves Matt's one of the greatest of all times. Thanks for your thorough ranking of gayness in Matt's roles.

Expand full comment
Arbaaz khan's avatar

Finally someone doing the real work here

Expand full comment
Daniel Dagris's avatar

Best thing I’ve read on Substack. Planning to check back after The Odyssey is released. I sense a high ranking on the aegeatic horizon.

Expand full comment
The Stain's avatar

very very excited about him spending a whole movie around a crew of oiled up sailors. i deserve it especially because im pretty sure another one of his upcoming roles is Literally Peter Thiel and im really not looking forward to having to put him in the top 5.

Expand full comment
Bill Shunn's avatar

Brilliant. I needed to laugh this morning, but I got so much more than that.

Expand full comment
Meat Head Media's avatar

This is the type of content I joined Substack for

Expand full comment
Isabel Mata's avatar

This is excellent journalism thank you for your service

Expand full comment
Elliot Peters's avatar

This started out so funny and then turned into such a valid critique of Matt Damon’s acting style, honestly I’m floored

Expand full comment
Toddsparrow's avatar

This is genius! Who are you?!

Expand full comment
Pink's avatar

this was so fucking funny, i made an account just to comment and let you know that you have made something beautiful

Expand full comment
Sonder's avatar

this kind of makes me want to watch some of these movies despite my long-lived and passionate (and arguably somewhat gay itself??) hatred of boston. it's incredible. i really really liked the colin sullivan rant which made me feel like i'd watched a movie trailer and understood the movie completely without actually understanding the movie at all immediately followed by gay krill. i also really liked the line "thrillingly foppish bisexual air," which is the air that i aim to have. i think my dad would have sent me this article had he found it in the wild, so i'm going to send it to him in exchange. i will report back

Expand full comment
pey's avatar

my friend sent me this link asking if i had written it so hi, kindred spirit. superb work throughout, particularly on the departed, but i have to let you know you're, like, factually incorrect about bourne. if you'll recall, he doesn't kiss marie until after he gives her that butchy little haircut, right? ftm coded. and then she kisses him so lightly and it takes him like ten seconds to actually kiss her back? repressed. and we can't forget in the bourne ultimatum when he suddenly decides he would do anything to protect that guardian reporter with the messenger bag? i was liveblogging the movie on first watch and i posted "aww is jason bourne gonna have a little boyfriend in this one" only to watch said little boyfriend get shot in the head moments later. i hope you'll consider this evidence. thank you for your service.

Expand full comment
Rhiannon D'Averc's avatar

My husband had to ask what I was laughing about because I was snickering at my screen so hard. And then you pulled it around effortlessly to an actual meaningful point! So very well done.

Expand full comment
Robert Machin's avatar

Great piece, especially the Ripley critique. It’s a fantastic film in so many ways, far, far superior to the overlong but deeply flawed remake (loved the cinematography in that, but nothing else, and loved the cinematography in Minghela’s film just as much). I’ve always wondered what that film would’ve been like if Matt Damon and Jude Law had changed roles…

Expand full comment